I have learned very quickly that no matter how much you try to prepare yourself for this journey, you will never be fully prepared. Parker has definitely showed us that this is all going to be his way or no way.
He had a cath on his lungs yesterday to check his pulmonary veins to see if they had been damaged due to the intact septum. The cath went fairly well all of his veins seemed be working the way they were supposed to. They scheduled a lung biopsy for this afternoon to try to figure out what is going on with his lungs. They are still thinking he will have to go the with a heart/lung transplant but we wont know anything until we get the results of the biopsy back. If the biopsy comes back good then we can go ahead with the norwood.
Parker has plans of his own though. Overnight they have discovered he may have an infection so they have postponed the biopsy for now. They have started him on antibiotics already so hopefully it will take care of it. I really dont know how I get through everyday without having a complete breakdown. This is all so much to have to deal with. I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. This is literally one day at a time like everyone has been telling me. I just feel like we arent making any progress and still dont have any answers.
On a happier note, we got to hold him for the very first time yesterday. I was so emotional. It was the best feeling in the world just to hold him even if it was just for a few short minutes. Seeing my husband hold him was my favorite part. I was in awe at how much love I felt for him at that time. We made this child together, I carried this child for 9 months, and I was finally able to make him a daddy. Just seeing him hold him and look at him was the most precious moment of my life. I am so glad I was given this opportunity to give him this perfect little boy.
I will keep everyone updated about the infection when we find out more, and of course the biopsy. I am ready to get things started. Parker has been here for 9 days and we are still at square one. I wouldnt change it for the world though. All of the long days in the hospital and the sleepless nights, all of the tears are so worth it because he is so perfect. I love him more than I ever imagined.