First I want to start by saying I dont know how all you heart moms do this. I feel like I dont have a second to breathe let alone update my blog! Im finally getting a second to sit down, process my thoughts and relax!
Today was discharge day for me. Very bittersweet. I left the hospital without my baby and I had a very hard time. Its not fair to be walking out those doors with empty arms. But....I know that I cant give him the care that he needs. It also means that I get to spend all the time with him that I want to right now! I have held myself together so well with a few minor meltdowns. I love seeing his sweet little face and letting him hold my finger but at the same time I hate it all. I cant see all of his face because of that ugly vent that he has! Everyone was so right when they said this would be an emotional rollarcoaster.
Ok enough about my emotions everyone comes here to read about the precious little Parker! He is holding his own, Im still learning all of this stuff they tell me a hundred times what things mean and I forget in 10 minutes. There are sooo many things to remember and numbers to watch on those screens. The poor nurses already probably think Im a nutcase. Oh well he is my son and I deserve to know what everything means and does. The drs seem to be pretty happy with where he is at right now. He is doing way better than what any of them expected. They do keep him pretty drugged up right now because he gets so upset and startled so easy and it causes everything to go crazy.
As of right now they are talking about his Norwood surgery taking place around the 1st of next week. They said probably Tuesday. This is all just a guess right now because with these babies as many of you know it is literally minute by minute. But Tuesday is what they are shooting for. While I am ready to get this show on the road and get his recovery started...I am not ready at all for this surgery. I cant imagine how I am going to get through it. I havent even got to hold him barely get to touch him because he gets startled and I am supposed to hand him over to the surgeons for a MAJOR surgery. I am really going to need to dig deep to find the strength to get through next week! I give props to all of the heart moms that have done this ahead of me now I can truly understand how you feel.
On another note...tonight we checked into the Haven House for our stay until the Ronald Mcdonald House gets an opening for us. As we walked in the door the lady at the front asked how the baby was doing and I replied with a good. She asked what we named him and I told her Parker. I kept on walking and I turned around to see my husband wasnt behind me because he was showing off pictures of his son to the lady! It made my heart melt! I didnt even think to stop and show her I was ready to get to the room and relax but proud daddy has to show everyone. I love him so much and I am so glad that I have been able to give him this precious gift of having a son!
I will leave you with a few pictures before I call it a night and try to get some rest