Monday, April 25, 2011

A few rough days

This last week has been rough to say the least. The 19th Parker would of been 4 months old. Oh what I would give to see his smile. On the 23rd marked 1 year that we found out that we were expecting our sweet little guy. Little did we know how special he would be. Easter...I was just not feeling it. There was just nothing for me to celebrate. I didn't want to even get out of bed let alone watch little kids get to enjoy their Easter baskets and hunt for Easter eggs.

Yesterday was so emotionally exhausting so I was going to take a nap. Around 830 pm Katie sent me a text message and told me that Olivia was having a rough time and she thought this was "it" I waited and waited for the news to hear that everything was ok and she was just giving us another little scare, for those of you that know Olivia shes pretty good at that. Then came the news that I didn't want to hear...from Katies facebook wall "Chris and I have a beautiful sassy diva in heaven" I screamed NOOOO this couldn't be happening. Adam and I sat on the couch holding each other and crying for Katie and Chris. Not that any of the babies we lose in this community are easy but this one is HARD. Many of you know how close Katie and I are. I love that girl with all of my heart. I've never met Olivia and I already miss her. Almost everyday I would get a picture of her sent to my phone. All those cute little outfits and shoes....she loved shoes just like her Aunt Heather....Im gonna miss you Olive juice.

I spoke with Katie last night....A couple of weeks ago I sent Olivia an Easter basket with lots of little goodies. Katie told me that her and Chris got to give Olivia her last bath and dress her one last time. Katie dressed her in the outfit that I sent her in her Easter basket. It made me cry and smile all at the same time. It meant so much to me. I am so glad that she got to wear her little Easter dress and I know it looked beautiful on her!

Olivia and Parker were born 4 days apart, little angels. They both weighed 6 lb 1 oz. Olivia was 20 inches long and Parker was 19 inches long. Katie and I have a birthday less than a week apart. Parker and Olivia were our first babies. I don't know but I think we were meant to meet each other. I know that we were meant to be each others support. We have tooooo many things in common for this not to of happened for a reason. We dont understand it and probably never will but I just keep believing that she was put into my life for a reason.I cant wait to meet her, hopefully very soon!

Dear Parker,
You finally get to meet Olivia, isn't she beautiful? I hope that you 2 will play nice and watch over all of us. Even though we wanted to introduce you 2 little munchkins here on earth and watch you grow up, I know that you have met in heaven and are free of pain. We all miss you babies so much, please stay close to us as we are still struggling everyday. Please especially watch over Olivia's mommy and daddy these next few weeks they are going to need you 2.

Kisses, kisses and more kisses... I love you Parker and Olivia!

There is now a little monkey and a little owl in heaven...I can imagine all the trees you 2 have already climbed! Have fun, be good, and come visit us every once in awhile....

Please keep Katie and Chris in your thoughts and prayers as they lay their little angel to rest.